My Body Belongs To Me

Guest Blogger:  Dawn Reid

The mission of Interface Children and Family Services is to “Strengthen children, families and communities to be safe, healthy and thriving.”  The My Body Belongs to Me Program is one of the programs Interface employs to meet its mission.

The My Body Belongs to Me Program is a personal safety and child abuse prevention program for pre-school and elementary school aged children (ages 3 to 12) and their families.  The program effectively educates and empowers children in a non-threatening way so that they may be better equipped to avoid abuse.  Since 1997, My Body Belongs to Me has reached over 70,000 children and their families.  As the only abuse prevention program in Ventura County with a focus on the prevention of child sexual abuse, the program directly benefits our community’s children by teaching them how to respond to potentially dangerous people and situations.

This school year approximately 6,000 school aged children between the ages of 3 and 12 and their families in Oxnard, Ventura, Camarillo, Simi Valley, Thousand Oaks and other communities throughout our county will be less vulnerable to sexual predators and thereby less likely to be victimized by them.  Additionally, any children and families within the same aforementioned group that have been victimized will learn from the program that telling is “O.K”, that the abuse can NEVER be their fault and that it’s NEVER too late to tell about abuse.

In a perfect world the My Body Belongs to Me program would not be necessary but crime statistics from The Department of Justice, The Federal Bureau of Investigations, The U.S. Center for Missing and Exploited Children and The Centers for Disease Control all tell us that in the United States 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 5 boys will be molested or sexually assaulted before their 18th birthday.  Of those assaulted, 22% will occur before age 5 and 58% before the age of 10. Approximately 90% of molest offenses against children are committed by someone the child knows and trusts and approximately 45% of those are committed by someone related to the child.  These facts stress the need for parents to make child sexual abuse prevention a regular safety conversation with their children.  Clearly it is not the “stranger in the bushes” that families should be concerned about.  Instead, the focus should be on helping our children establish appropriate personal boundaries and becoming more comfortable talking with our children.

Every year there is at least a handful of stories that highlight the boundless importance of the My Body Belongs to Me program.  The first story is from a parent’s perspective.  While at an outreach event in the community two young adult men approached an Interface Children & Family Services resource table and began looking at the different handouts and speaking with the Interface staff at the table.  The two young men were a bit intimidating in appearance, as they were both pretty well tattooed, were both very muscular and used extremely “colorful” language consisting of many expletives during their conversation.  One of the men explained that he had spent a sizable amount of his child’s life incarcerated and that he really wanted to be a good father to his children.  Upon seeing the My Body Belongs to Me brochure, he asked what it was about.  When he opened the brochure and saw the handout piece entitled “6 Ways You Might Be Touched That Give You the Right to Say, “No!”, Get Away and Tell Someone”, he called the rest of his friends over, many of them with their children and this man of very impressive size and intimidating demeanor lowered himself to his knee and began to very tenderly and patiently explain those “6 Ways” to his four-year old.  He encouraged his friends to do the same and he did not stand back up until he was certain that his little boy understood what he was saying.  When the father was done he stood back up and thanked us for a giving him a way to talk about the subject of molestation in a way that made him feel comfortable but didn’t scare his little boy.  That father and all his friends left the resource table with handfuls of the “6 Ways” handouts promising to share them with their nieces and nephews.

Last March, I received a valentine that was forwarded to me from an elementary school counselor.  The valentine was from a fourth grade girl who wanted to thank us for teaching her that her body belonged to her and that it was never too late to tell and talk about when someone had touched her in a way that made her feel scared, uncomfortable, involved the private parts of her body or in a way that she simply didn’t like.  Just moments after her class received the presentation, this brave fourth grader privately shared that she had been molested several times during the previous year by a family acquaintance.  With the help of the school’s counselor, a police report was made and the girl and her family began to receive much-needed therapy.  I received a call from the girl’s mother within weeks of the girl’s initial disclosure.  The mother was understandably emotional when thanking me for the existence of our program insisting that were it not for “My Body Belongs to Me” coming to her child’s school, her daughter may have never told and the abuse would have continued.  The valentine I received was written towards the end of “Carla’s” (not her real name) therapy and was encouraged by her therapist and reads as follows:

“Dear Whomever This Concerns,

I am writing as a fourth grader how important I think the program called My Body Belongs to Me is.  This program makes kids like me know how important it is to always tell an adult when something makes you feel uncomfortable.  I had a problem because someone had been touching me and I didn’t know what to do.  This problem made me scared and very mad most of the time.  Because your program and Mrs. Reid taught me that I really could tell and that it was not my fault.  I did tell and I got some help.  My family did too.  My problem would have never stopped if I did not hear about what you said in My Body Belongs to Me.  Please, please be sure and tell all kids about this so that they will know what to do too.

Sincerely,

A fourth grade girl.”

Last fiscal year, The My Body Belongs to Me Program was presented to 5,835 local Ventura County Children and their families at 41 different schools and or child/youth facilities.  As a result of those presentations, 3642 children between the ages of 3 and 12 became less likely to be molested and say nothing.  29 teen parents under the age of eighteen and 2,164 parents, grand-parents and care givers learned how to talk to their children about preventing sexual abuse and were given resources and instructed on what to do if their child ever discloses an incidence of abuse.  No less than 14 of the Children that received the My Body Belongs to Me curriculum last year understood the program’s emphasis that it’s NEVER too late to tell and courageously disclosed incidences of abuse.  Without this program those children would have continued being victimized.

Fiscal year 2004/2005 was the last fully-funded year for The My Body Belongs to Me Program.  For the purposes of this discussion, “fully funded” refers to funding to support a 40-hour work week for one (1) My Body Belongs to Me staff person.  In that year, the program reached 7,114 individuals.  In fiscal year 2005/2006 funding for My Body Belongs to Me was reduced to half of what it had been previously. 

With half of the financial resources allocated for My Body Belongs to Me, it would be reasonable that the number of clients reached would be decreased accordingly by half (50%).  However that has not been the case.  In fiscal year 2005/2006 with only half of the funds of the previous year, the number of clients reached saw a decrease of only 40% (4,271 children and their families).  The number of clients served by My Body Belongs to Me has increased every year since funding was cut.  Currently, the number of clients reached has only been decreased by 18%.  In other words, with half the budget My Body Belongs to Me is currently reaching and meeting the needs of 82% of the clients it was reaching when it was fully funded.  Year after year, the My Body Belongs to Me program successfully meets the challenge/requirement of doing more with less and exponentially so.  

Perhaps the greatest evidence of the program’s value lies in the words of two children.  The first is an 8 year old girl I’ll call “Becky”.  While disclosing sexual abuse that had occurred when she was 5 and 6, with tears in her eyes Becky said, “I just keep trying to get it out of my brain and I can’t but now I can because I can tell.”  Then there is a 9 year old boy I’ll call “Brian”.  Brian wrote a note that said, “Thank you for telling me that nobody can touch or hurt my body and that I can always tell to get help if they try.”

The My Body Belongs to Me Child Abuse Prevention Program provides an immeasurable service to our local community by helping to protect our children from the life altering trauma that results from sexual abuse.  The program is implemented via classroom instruction to children and their families by taking the program directly into public and private schools, youth centers and child care facilities.  This vital safety program teaches children how to respond to potentially dangerous situations and people.  They learn the three-part safety sequence that instructs them to say “No!”, to get away and most importantly, to tell an adult helper.  In addition to the in-class presentation, an optional take-home booklet is available for the students to review the safety concepts with their families.

Teachers and staff are given a 50-minute preview presentation that fully describes the program and includes a basic review of California’s mandated reporter law.  The next phase includes a 60-minute parent preview of the presentation that takes place about one week before their child’s presentation.  Parents also receive a packet of useful information that includes a list of helpful resources.  There is a discussion on how parents might talk to their children about keeping their bodies safe and how to effectively deal with a child’s disclosure of abuse or other undesired touching.

The children’s presentation includes three separate curriculums: pre-school, grades K-2^nd and grades 3^rd-6^th.  The children view an age-appropriate video on personal safety then engage in a classroom discussion.  After their presentations, pre-school and kindergarten children go home after their presentations with a personal safety coloring book so that parents are able to continue conversations about safety with their children.  All children are given a refrigerator magnet entitled, “6 Ways You May Be Touched That Give You the Right to Say “No!”, Get Away and Tell Someone,” to take home and share with parents and other family members.  These magnets give parents concise, consistent,  comfortable, non-threatening language to use with their children.  They help parents and care-givers make the topic of their child’s safety an on-going and developmentally appropriate conversation.

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Dawn Reid began her relationship with Interface Children & Family Services as a volunteer in 2003 at the prompting of then Director of Volunteer Services, Judy Jenkins.  Judy had heard Dawn speak on childhood victimization for another organization.  In November 2006, after 15 years in the mortgage and banking industry, Dawn’s desire to make a difference led her to seek a staff position with Interface Children & Family Services.  In January 2007, Dawn came on staff with Interface as Program Manager of My Body Belongs to Me.  She now serves as the program’s outreach coordinator.

Shortly after joining the Interface staff, Dawn developed the “6 Ways You Might Be Touched That Give You the Right to Say ‘No!’, Get Away and Tell.” handout.  By using consistent and uniform language, children could easily understand, the handout encourages parents and teachers to make child sexual abuse prevention an ongoing conversation about safety.  Dawn was thrilled when the handout was FINALLY made into a magnet last year (a dream of hers).  Dawn also compiled a resource guide of reading resources for families.  All books on the guide have child sexual abuse prevention as their topic.  Many of the resource counselors at the schools MBBTM serves request this resource guide and distributes them to families throughout the school year. 

As a member of The Ventura County Partnership for Safe Families and Communities, Dawn serves on the organization’s Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Committee. She a survivor of childhood and adult trauma, Dawn is burdened with a passion for encouraging those affected by childhood sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence and other family violence.

Dawn is married with 4 children (two biological, two step) ages 16 to 25.  Dubbed "best-est brownie baker" and "master gumbo maker," she enjoys cooking, gardening, cycling and has been an avid runner for almost 30 years.  She considers her title of “Mom” the most important and rewarding of all.