Happy Father’s Day – Supporting Father Involvement Tips

In honor of Father’s Day and all the beneficial things fathers bring to each and every day; here are some tips to help support father involvement in your organization.

• Create a welcoming environment that is friendly, inviting, secure, and comfortable for men. Involve men in the design and decoration of the center, including photos of fathers and involvement activities.

• Include the word “fathers” on forms, flyers, and documents.

• Have children draw pictures and write letters about their fathers or other male role models.

• Offer parent education training and classes specifically for men on various topics including child development and communication skills.

• Create father support groups, Daddy and Me classes, male mentoring programs, or Dads Only groups.

• Simply ask fathers to be present, be more inclusive, and actively listen to them.

• Educate staff, mothers, and the community about the value of positive father involvement.

• Model behavior of what father involvement looks like in father-child activities.

• Encourage mothers to bring their husbands, boyfriends, brothers, etc. to meetings and events.

• Establish routines and rituals that involve and recognize fathers.

• Break the cycle of minimizing father involvement.

For more information on supporting father involvement in your organization, visit http://www.familyresourcecenters.net/projects-2/supporting-father-involvement/

 

INTERFACE: 40 YEARS OF HELPING - 40 YEARS OF VOLUNTEERING - 40 YEARS OF SUPPORT!

I was reflecting just the other day on the fact that we are already in the holiday season (where DOES the time go?) and how this has been a very special year for Interface – our 40^th year of service!  I came across a quote that so succinctly captured the essence of what we do:  “We never think lightly of those who walk with us on our uphill days.” – Richelle E. Goodrich.

We walk with a lot of kids and families on their “uphill days…” here at Interface Children & Family Services.  It is an honor and privilege to serve and support families as they struggle through their many challenges - helping them up the hills and over the speed bumps in their lives; giving them ways to become stronger and more resilient.

Interface has always been about people – the people we assist and the people who choose to make a career here – a career of service to others.   40 years…! I estimate that represents about 750,000 staff/volunteer days spent in service to our communities…not hours, but days of service: for abused children, homeless teens, parents at their wits end, fathers who don’t know how to rise above a troubled past, grieving seniors looking for support, abused moms and kids, and even other organizations wanting to learn from us as to how to be more effective in their work.

This year we have been inspired and amazed by the number of people who have chosen to become involved in what we do at Interface – people who have busy lives and other things to do, but who want to be there on those “uphill days” for others.  We’ve had folks volunteer to dance, skate, run, walk and collect old shoes to help raise funds to support our programs.  And now, we even have someone who wants to sing for Interface!  Let me introduce you to Ventura vocalist, Loanne Wullaert.

Loanne will be presenting a special holiday concert, Canzoni Invernali Di Amore (Winter Songs of Love) on Tuesday, December 3, 2013, at 8:00 p.m. (doors open at 7:00 p.m.) at the Ventura Theater, 26 S. Chestnut, Ventura.  She will be performing a collection of seasonal songs and proceeds from the concert will benefit Interface Children & Family Services.  There is a $10.00 suggested donation for the concert and kids under 16 are FREE.  A silent auction will also happen during intermission. 

Recently we asked Loanne some questions about her background, her love of music and why she is giving her time and talent to be there on those “uphill days.”  We found that her story was a wonderful match with what we do at Interface.

When did you start singing and why did you start?

“I started singing when I was 2 years old, when I started playing piano. My first song was Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. My Mom said I sat down one day and sang it and played it with both hands out of nowhere. My Dad used to play a lot of music when I was young, lots of classical and stuff, and we were not allowed to watch TV. I hated that then, but I consider it a blessing now.”

What vocal training or musical experience do you have?

“My only training really was school choir.  Usually I was told my voice didn't blend, like it was too distinct and stood out too much. Other than choir at school, I did some local theater in Santa Barbara, and I had a band for a short period in Ventura called Sinfonia Illuminada, which took traditional opera pieces and transposed them in to rock.”

How would you describe your “style” of music?

“The songs I sing are songs that speak to me and make me feel a certain way.  Even when I pick a song in a foreign language and then translate it, I always find that it is saying what I felt it did. So I guess, my style is honest? Heartfelt? I don't really know if that can be a style.”

What inspired you to do this holiday concert for Interface Children & Family Services?

“I was adopted by my mom and dad as an infant, and because of that I have always been aware of how lucky I am. There are so many children in this world with no home, no parents, in desperate situations, without hope or love. I believe that you can change the world by making an impact on just one person and letting them know someone cares. So if I can raise money, or help get toys or shoes or whatever for just one child who has nothing, I am taking the steps to accomplish my goals and dreams to make this world a better place.”

What is your hope or desire for the audience to experience at the concert?

“I would like people to feel my heart, to open their minds to music and the different types of people who create it.  I would love to give people a raised awareness of the things which are really important in life such as love, beauty, and friendship, and to be able to express that to people. I feel that life is so hurried and fast that we often to forget to tell those around us how much they mean to us, and then it is too late. I, myself am guilty of that, and that is why I have been doing these shows, to try to honestly and openly express how I feel, and to let people know who I really am instead of who they perceive me to be.”

 Anything else you would like to add?

“The greatest thing you will ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.” 

We are so grateful to Loanne for dedicating this concert to the support of Interface and all of its programs.  We hope you will come out and support her, and in so doing, help even more people on those “uphill days!”

To pre-purchase tickets to Canzoni Invernali Di Amore or for more information visit:
http://www.venturatheater.net/event/419381-canzoni-invernali-di-amore-ventura/

Faces of Interface . . . Leadership Advisory Council Member, Kevin Fitzpatrick

Rrachel & Kevin Fitzpatrick

“Kevin Fitzpatrick is an extremely driven individual who has the ability to motivate and energize the people with whom he works.”

“Kevin has strong leadership qualities and is a great motivator of people.”

“Kevin really cares about his customers and his friends and it comes natural to him.”

These are all things said about Kevin by co-workers and friends.  We at Interface Children & Family Services count ourselves extremely lucky to have Kevin Fitzpatrick as a member of our Leadership Advisory Council.  Recently, we asked him some questions about why he volunteers his time, talents, and treasures to Interface.

What drew you to Interface?

My dear friend, Ron Wagley, who passed away this past July, was a board member for Interface.  Ron was someone whom I respected and admired.  As the retired CEO of Transamerica Insurance, one would think he would have been too removed from the everyday to give to others.  But Ron was someone who came alongside his friends, showed us through his own life what it was to strive to be the best husbands, fathers, and friends we could be, all in an effort to bring honor and glory to God.  I guess it didn’t surprise me that Ron was involved with Interface – particularly with the programs that helped abused moms and kids.

Once Ron introduced me to Interface, I knew this was a way for me to use my own childhood experiences in a positive way – to turn negative to positive.  I knew the helplessness that these moms and kids experience.  Because of this,  I have a passion to help change the circumstances of others, however I can – especially for children.  Kids have no power or control over the abuse that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Why has your involvement been fulfilling for you?

The things I’ve been able to do for Interface have helped me live out what my friend, Ron, exemplified – a life filled with service.  My family had the privilege of participating in a holiday gift drive for Interface – providing gifts for kids that they may never have really believed they would receive.  My children delivered the gifts to Interface and it was a great opportunity to teach them about giving.  Through my contacts, we were able to complete some much needed renovations at the emergency shelter – making it a more comfortable and safe atmosphere for people who had to leave their homes suddenly and with nothing.

What else can you say about Interface?

I really want to help spread the word about all the ways Interface helps children and families.  So many people are hurting in so many ways.  Interface helps in multiple ways – all across our communities.  For example, the 2-1-1 program.  I want to make sure that the word is out on that one – access to any type of help is just 3 digits away.
 

And, finally, I want to help people who are busy and self-sufficient see that reaching out to others is something that will make a difference. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of us – people all around us need our help.  I know from my own experiences what it’s like to need help.  It means so much to me to  be able to provide some well-deserved help to  others now. 

Homelessness....Hunger....We can all do nothing...or we can all work together and do at least something...

My bed in the back of my Prius.....August 18, 2012

Erik Sternad, Executive Director of Interface Children & Family Services, writes about his experience for the second year of sleeping in his car and going without food to make the point that hunger and homelessness are very real issues in Ventura County.  His thoughts......

Of course there are hundreds of reasons to not want to be homeless, and I’m not qualified to speak about what it’s really like, but I did sleep in my compact car on Saturday night just the same. I’m doing my small part to raise awareness of the vctogether.org campaign. Every day this collaborative of 40 Ventura County agencies is responding to the needs of our hungry and our homeless, those among us without health care and in need of the referrals that calling 2-1-1 can help provide; referrals to programs and services that can help them get back on their feet. Here are some of my observations from Saturday night.

Observation #1: Where do you sleep if you don’t have a home? There are some shelters, or in your vehicle (if you have one), or outdoors if you don’t. What feels safer, what do I have access to today? Saturday night the several of us who slept in our cars to highlight this campaign had a long debate about where we should sleep. Was an empty industrial park area better than in neighborhoods we knew? Should we stay together or be on our own? You get a feeling of uncertainty as you head toward that very personal and vulnerable time when you must bed down for the night – that is if you don’t have a bed to call your own…

Observation #2: It felt humiliating to sleep in my car. What would people think of me as I crawled out of my car in the light of the early morning? “Who is that guy sleeping in my neighborhood? Why is he sleeping in his car? What’s his problem…? Did he get kicked out of his house?” You just want to get up and away from the scene in the light of day as soon as you can without someone seeing you. Imagine starting every day like that…

Observation #3: Where do you go if you need a bathroom in the middle of the night? Will you have to fully wake up, get to an all night restaurant/gas station, or just go outside and hope it’s safe and no one bothers you?

Observation #4: It’s just uncomfortable sleeping in a car. You crawl in as late as you can and get up early. You can’t stretch out, it’s hot with the windows up, but you feel unsafe with them down. It feels safer in some ways than sleeping outside, but it’s like you’re sleeping in a fishbowl all the same... 

A friend told me Saturday night that he has a colleague who was homeless this year. He’s a professional, with a job and friends, and a complicated life like the rest of us. But when his income at work dwindled because of the recession, he lost his fight to keep his home and stayed in the backyard of a friend in a tent for 9 months. In a tent for 9 months… when it was cool out and very hot, when it rained and the wind blew. Every morning he’d wake up, get dressed and go off to his professional job. Few knew what he was going through. That’s one of the many faces of homelessness in our county.  

None of us can know what a homeless neighbor goes through, but we can all do nothing…or we can all do at least something. In fact, Ventura County Together is all about helping together. Please consider a gift to www.vctogether.org , it won’t stop homelessness, but it will help someone who didn’t have a home last night – and isn’t that enough?

Pepperdine Students Raise Awareness of Domestic Violence Among Young People

How would the world be different if young people pledged to never commit, condone or be a part of domestic or dating violence?

Five Pepperdine seniors recently came together to address that very question. Martine, Jenny, Claire, Cindy and Mimi worked with Interface for two months on a campaign to raise money for the Family Violence Response Team, and raise awareness of domestic violence. The core of the project involved hosting Domestic Violence Week at Pepperdine, which culminated in an evening “Convo” presentation on campus about domestic violence and spirituality, presented by Pepperdine chaplain David Lemley and Interface’s executive director Erik Sternad.

“We were all very excited when we heard that Interface would be our client,” said Martine de Gannes, Executive Director of 4/1 PR, the temporary ‘agency’ formed for their capstone project. “Our goal was to connect Interface with people in their teens and twenties, known as Generation Y or Millennials. Young people often cannot make financial contributions, but they are willing to give time and energy to projects that make a difference.”

The simplest definition of domestic violence is: a pattern of controlling behaviors that one partner uses to maintain power over another. With young people, we’re mainly talking about dating violence in a romantic or sexual context. Domestic or dating violence is rarely a one-time thing; it tends to escalate over time, and with each incident, it becomes more dangerous for the victim.

“Most young people think that domestic violence happens primarily between married couples,” Martine said. “However on average, 32% of American college students have experienced at least one incident of domestic or dating violence. That’s one out of every three students in the country! We also tend to think of domestic violence as a women’s issue, but 19% of college men reported experiencing violence. This issue touches everyone.”

There is a cycle that domestic violence follows with three distinct phases: the honeymoon phase, the tension phase, and the explosion phase. In the honeymoon phase, you might be swept off your feet by someone new, or an abuser may apologize and bring gifts. Many victims are convinced to stay in dangerous situations or abandon legal action against their partner during this phase. However, when the abuser continues to emotionally manipulate the victim, tension builds. Victims often think that as long as they keep their partner calm and happy, they will be safe. Eventually, the situation explodes and physical violence may occur. The victim waits it out, fights back, or leaves the relationship -- and the cycle is perpetuated, unless the victim seeks help.

“During our Convo presentation, we did a live survey and asked the students in the room if they had personally experienced dating violence,” Martine said. “It was disheartening to see that the percentage of Pepperdine students affected matched the national average, at 31%. That means that out of the 185 people in that room, 60 of them have directly experienced violence.”

The Convo presentation also touched on the four most common types of domestic violence (physical, verbal-emotional, sexual and stalking) and some red flags that might indicate that you or someone you know is experiencing violence. However, the goal of the Convo was to let the students know that there are many ways they can address this problem. One of the most effective ways to prevent violence is to make a safety plan with contact information for trustworthy places and people – a women’s or LGBT center, security office, dorm, library, resident advisor, hotline numbers, the police – that you can contact if you feel unsafe.

“It’s important to think about what you want in a partner, and what behaviors are non-negotiable,” Martine said. “Invite new friends or first dates to hang out with a group, or set up a safe call to check in with a friend while you’re out alone. If you witness violence happening, don’t risk your own safety, but don’t be afraid to call for help either. We need to be talking about this issue with our kids, teens and young adults alike.”

To raise awareness beyond Pepperdine, Martine and her team partnered with student-run organizations at Newbury Park High School to sell light blue wristbands promoting domestic violence awareness. They also offered the Hand Print Pledge, a booth on campus where students signed paper hand prints and added them to a large poster display as a reminder that domestic violence affects everyone.

“This project required a lot of work, but it was also very rewarding,” Martine said. “Raising awareness of an issue may sound easy, especially in the age of social media, but organizing a fundraising campaign is much more complex. Our entire group loved working with Interface; we learned so much, and their cause has become so important to all of us.”

Faces of Interface: Richard Linares, 2-1-1 Call Specialist

Intro to the Faces of Interface Series
The work of strengthening children and families is often discussed in abstract terms. Words like programs, services, and support are used in descriptions that can leave us with more questions than answers. The goal of this blog series is to introduce our community to what Interface does by talking one-on-one with the people that make it happen. Each month, we'll feature a short interview with a staff member, volunteer, board member, or donor sharing their perspective on how our work is building a better future. This month's interview features Richard Linares, a call specialist for our 2-1-1 Information and Referral line.  


Describe briefly what your program or department does. 

We provide information and referrals for social services, health care and organizations that provide assistance to local communities like food pantries, shelters for the homeless or domestic violence victims, and mental health services to name just a few. 2-1-1 Ventura County actually handles calls for eight counties across California. Seven of those counties are handled by our department 24 /7, and for one county, we take calls for their after-hours shift.  

I like to think of it like this: 4-1-1 helps you find things that you know are available, or items that you want to buy, and 2-1-1 allows you to discover what is available and helps you get what you need.

What is the best part of what you do?

Honestly, the best part of working at Interface is the pride that I have in the agency, because I see first-hand that we’re making a difference and saving lives every day. My favorite aspect of being a call specialist is that I get to be the voice on the phone, the source of comfort, providing hope and information directly. Calling 2-1-1 is some people’s last resort in a bad situation, or the only place open to give them a desperately-needed resource or suggest some options.  

What is the best or most touching call that you have taken so far at 2-1-1?

I take 300+ calls a week, and every week I hear stories from people that leave me broken-hearted because of how hopeless they feel and how complicated their situations are. Thankfully, 2-1-1 is here 24/7 with assistance in over 150 languages to connect them to the help they need.

Recently, I was able to connect a young man with information on how to enroll in adult GED classes. Here’s a man who is barely an adult, that for some reason did not complete his education, and it’s so powerful to realize that as he decides to make a move forward in life, I was able to facilitate and make space for him to move forward.

I took another call after him from a young lady who needed shelter for herself and children; they were homeless. I talked to another man who was tired of doing drugs and wanted so badly to get back on his feet again. He was crying and felt like a failure. I was able to get him connected to recovery programs and let him know that it was definitely possible to get his life back on track.

Maybe for some of you these stories sound simple; but as I look back over my life and reflect on my own experiences with abuse as a child, the domestic violence I witnessed in my own home, and the trauma of holding on and seeking help when alcohol addiction made a mess of my life, I wish that I had known about a resource like 2-1-1.  Maybe I would not have had to endure what I did alone; maybe when I was facing homelessness, and had no clothes or shoes to look for work, I could have received some assistance. When I needed someone to talk to I could have reached out and found help. It was so hard to find those things back then, and being able to provide them easily to others now as a healthy and happy man is such an incredible blessing.

What is an upcoming project or event that you’re excited about?

I’m excited to watch 2-1-1 Ventura County expand and grow. We will be adding some more work spaces, and that means more people will get to experience the same opportunity as I have to help others get connected with the information and referrals they need.

What are your favorite things to do in your spare time (hobbies, etc.)?

I love to reach out and serve as an MC or Host at community events.  At my church, I am the current director of our food pantry and an outreach coordinator. I also enjoy watching movies, filming and editing videos and dancing to cumbia music. Anything involving multimedia like Facebook or YouTube and working with youth is the best!